Getting the Most Out of Your Therapy Experience

I've been seeing posts pop up on social media about how to get the most out of therapy, and I feel compelled to share my own take as a therapist. 

I love that therapy is becoming more normalized in our culture. Everyone experiences stressors, and it can be incredibly helpful to have a space to process and integrate your experiences. One message I hear often, both in and outside the therapy room, is the idea that simply going to therapy is “good for you.” Sort of like going to the dentist or doctor. 

But there’s a key distinction that often gets overlooked: Therapy isn't something done to you; it's something you actively participate in. And that participation - your curiosity, reflection, honesty, and goals - makes all the difference. 

Just showing up is a powerful first step. But if you want therapy to feel purposeful and transformative, it helps to have a sense of where you want to go. 

Therapy Works Best With Purpose 

Therapy is most effective when it has direction, and direction comes from collaboration. Your therapist can absolutely help you clarify and refine your goals, but we can’t tell you what those goals should be. We aren’t mind readers, and your voice is the most important one in the room. 

I’m writing this to empower clients to feel more in charge of their therapy journey. Here are some ways you can set yourself up for meaningful, focused work in session: 

Practical Ways to Maximize Your Therapy Time 

Begin with a goal in mind Your goals can be broad or specific anything from “I want to become more self-reflective” to “I need help processing a recent loss” or “I want to handle conflict at work more effectively.” You don’t need to have it all figured out, but giving your therapist a starting point helps create shared direction. Try to be as specific as you can and know that your goals will likely evolve over time. 

Keep a running list of what you want to explore Instead of pressuring yourself to come with a full agenda each time, try jotting down thoughts throughout the week. You might bring in: 

• A tricky interpersonal moment 

• A reaction you didn’t understand 

• A big (or small) decision you're facing 

• Something you’re proud of but unsure how to share 

• A recurring emotional pattern you’ve noticed 

Be open and honest, even when it’s hard The “real stuff” is often the most healing to name. That includes: 

• Talking about things that feel vulnerable, embarrassing, or uncomfortable 

• Letting your therapist know when something isn't working for you 

• Sharing feedback whether it’s about your goals, the pace, or even your doubts 

Remember, therapy is a relationship. Your feedback helps your therapist tailor their approach to better meet your needs. 

Take notes (if it feels helpful) Therapy covers a lot of ground. Writing down key takeaways, insights, or questions can help you track your progress and carry the work outside the room.  

Reflect between sessions Whether through journaling, quiet thought, or voice memos, give yourself space to revisit your sessions. Ask yourself: 

• What stood out? 

• What felt surprising or meaningful? 

• Is there something I wish I had said or something I want to follow up on? 

Try things out between sessions Change often happens between sessions. If your therapist offers suggestions, try them like an experiment. Notice what works, what doesn’t, and what you learned in the process. This could include: 

• Practicing a new communication skill 

• Reading or listening to something relevant 

• Trying a grounding or mindfulness practice 

Revisit important topics again and again Growth is rarely linear. You might circle back to the same themes months later with a new perspective. That’s not a setback it’s part of deepening your understanding. Revisiting doesn’t mean you’re stuck; it means you're evolving. 

Be patient with the process Therapy isn’t instant. Some sessions might feel energizing, others heavy or confusing. That’s normal. Trust that growth often happens in the pauses, setbacks, and slow shifts over time. Give yourself permission to be a work in progress. 

Final Thoughts 

Your therapist wants to support you in reaching your goals. We offer insight, support, and strategies but you set the pace through what you bring to each session and how you engage with the work in between. 

Therapy is most powerful when it’s a partnership, and your willingness to reflect, speak up, and stay engaged can transform your experience.